Internet Friends

You laugh together,
you understand each other.
You tell them your vices,
they give you advices.

A Cheater's Appology

Dear Lakshya,

   I hope you’re not drunk while you’re reading this. I just want to tell you stuff about what’s happening to our relationship. I still remember the first interaction we had. It was in the comment box of a picture of two adorable baby bats that you tagged to Marco. You guys were talking about Nikita and what if she finds those bats in her underwear. I commented that the baby bats were cute and you highly disagreed; you think they are hideous. Do you remember this? I hope you do.

I still remember the first conversation we had together. Though unclear I know it all started with the customary “boy says hi and girl says hello”. I also remember laughing because you replied ‘good’ and that time it was an inappropriate reply.

I remember calling you ‘bro’ and talking about your 30+ year old girl friend that you broke up with because you said she was too horny. I remember how fun it was that we talked so freely about music and school and life. I miss those days.

I remember telling you about Marco and his usual badmouthing habits. You said I should not let him treat me like that. So I started fighting Marco back, but since then, he’s become worse. I told you that he’s always hurting my feelings. You said I should leave him. When I left him he commented on many of my pictures that I should add him, add him, add him, add him. I deleted everything and added him back again because he was too annoying. 

Everything was okay until one night October 10, 2013, he got pissed because I was watching a TV Series that he hates, he sent me a picture of his ex Nikita. It hurt me, and I told you about it. You said I deserve someone else. I talked to him and he promised never to hurt me again. But the badmouthing was still there, and I was getting tired of helping him out when he’s on his pervert mood.

Weeks after that we have talked a lot about each other and I honestly but quietly noticed changes in the way you talk to me. You’ve stopped calling me ‘girl’ and you kept on saying that I have to leave him and find someone that deserves me. But I just ignored it.

October 24, 2013, our classes ended for the Halloween Season and Semester Break. I wasn’t online for more than a week.

November 4, 2013, I came back to my Internet life and Marco and I were doing well just like the usual. We started to get really close to each other since the day I came back and you were asking me to leave him and telling me horrible truths about him. I was hurt, betrayed, lied to. But then somehow I was glad that I have a friend who saved me from those lies that Marco constructed just to have me. I was glad I had a friend like you.

After a day or two, I still haven’t talked to Marco about breaking up and suddenly you told me you liked me. I was shocked. Off course I was. But then I realized how much I liked talking to you than Marco. I realized how much I liked you. We have the same taste in music, we laugh at each other’s jokes, we understand each other. Later, I told you I liked you too and you grew more and more persistent on the breakup plan for Marco. But then we both didn’t want to hurt him.

October 7, 2013, when I thought everything was perfect between the two of us, I was cursed, insulted, sworn to, humiliated, called indecent names and yelled at by your ex girlfriend who knows your password. I was petrified to hell! I didn’t know what to do. I tried to explain but you told me it would just get worse if I interfere with your conversation with Sanjana. I did what she told me to do. I un-friended you. Later that night you added me on another account that only had a bunch of foreign girls as friends. I didn’t mind.

Everything was bliss, everything was perfect. We never had one single argument. We understood and loved each other. We had so many things that differ like our religion, our culture, our environment, our friends but then we learned to grow and love as we embraced our differences. We had plans for our future and it was just so perfect. Days passed and I fell in love with you more and more until I finally got my mom to believe that I really am in love with you. I started trying to be better. I studied harder so I had time to chat with you. I haven’t been eating breakfast and dinner sometimes because I wanted to lose weight so that when you come here, I would look better. I was so happy to have you Lakshya Singh and you don’t know how much I love you.

November 27, 2013, I thought this was another day of bliss but it just ended up with you not noticing my mood signals. It’s really cute that you don’t notice, you’re such a baby bunny and I love that. You went off line and I see Marco’s status’s comments with my name on it. It says I was a stalker that kept on liking his statuses. I talked to him and he said he wants me back. He said he misses me. I didn’t want to make him mad because I would just make the situation worse if I force him to stop. I intended to beg him to stop and make him realize that he was better with this girl ‘Myla’ than with me. But he insisted on wanting me and tells me how it he jerked off to my pictures that afternoon. He said he’s getting hard and he needs me to help. I told him I loved another guy. I couldn’t afford to say your name because I don’t want him to be mad at you as well. I didn’t want to break your friendship.

When I started talking about how I love you and how he needs to let go he started messaging me horny stuff. I wanted to refuse but I know it would just end up to a fight. I decided to help him jerk off. I know you’ve already read everything but if you noticed, our illicit conversation did not end in a way that every chat sex should end. I didn’t wait for him to have his release. I intended that because I realized that this won’t do anything good, that it wouldn’t stop him from getting mad at me. It was also awkward because I kept thinking about you throughout the conversation so I went offline.

November 28, 2013, I woke up excited to greet my one true love a Happy 19^th Birthday. I went to school and it was just so exhausting. The moment I reached my dorm I went online to chat with you. I missed you so much and I know one ‘I love you’ from Lakshya Singh would always take all my stress away. But instead, I ended up crying in the fire ext stairs with a tab smudged with tears, trembling lips and fingers, swollen eyes and broken heart. It was the first time that I ever cried for a boy, much more for a boy whom I never met. But then it was for the boy that owns my whole heart.

Lakshya baby, If only I could undo the things I’ve done and the pain I caused, I would; all because I love you too much.

With all the love I could offer,

Clare

Caught Cheating

November 27, 2013

I said goodnight to the boy I love and greeted him an advanced Happy Birthday. He was happy and the conversation ended.
Later that night I saw the boy I loved. He was sad, still because I left him for another. I on the other hand didn't want to make him feel like it, so I talked to him like we always did in the past.
The night went deeper and he started to get comfortable, perhaps too comfortable. He initiated and I willingly accepted the temptation.
As those romantic exchange of messages started and continued, I never forgot about the boy I truly love. Right then and there I stopped leaving the boy I loved hanging. I said goodbye.

November 28, 2013


I woke up and greeted the boy I love Happy Birthday. He wasn't online so I went to school and went home late in the afternoon.

Hello!

good evening!! Clare

??????????????/

baby!!!

i love you. mwah

so wassup?

How was your day ??

Baby, my day was fine

How did your birthday go?

Babe? You there?

Heyy,

Baby?

haha!my birthday... I drank coldrinks and I watched tv

Nothing special.

You didnt go out with your friends?

Nope!! I didn't want to go out.

Why? You shouldve enjoyed your day. Youre 19.

really ??

Yes.

Why?

How was your day ?

My day was exhausting

What did you do today?

Tell me everything about your day ?? morning to evening.... overall!! how was it ?

Well first, i woke up. Greated you, took a bath, read nuclear med. For a while. Went to school.

I was late when i reached school.

I feel sad for Marco.

But i still had the quiz

He is a good guy.

Why are we talking about him? This is your day.

Well, were friends again and hes finally and officially over me.

I talked to him last night

Good.

Sounds good.

He was mad, but its okay now.

Lakshya?

So what did you guys talk ?

I hope you had a peaceful discussion.

Yes.

So whats up?

I missed you,

Thanks Clare.

*hugs*

haha! so what did you guys talk ??

I'd love to know ?

Just random stuff. He said ill suffer from karma.

I actually Loved you Clare.

I expected the same from you.

And he was pervy.

I was wrong , I should've never fallen for you.

What? Passed tense?

No

No, Lakshya

Listen okay, ill tell you everything please

haha! anything left to say ?

Please just breathe, i dont want you to get stressed out.

He was mad at me.. and i dont want that..

I'm not even gonna ask you , why did you do that to me?

So i liked few of his statuses

And then he commented mean stuff about me

And i wanted him to stop.

haha! you were asking for my birthday gift right ??? hahaha I gave me the one.

Thanks Clare.

Thank you very much.

So i messaged him and said i was sorry

I will never forget it.

No lakshya please just think this through

Please

Its not what you think

I'm not that dumb , Clare.

Lakshya i'm serious about you

No, please

Please. I was wrong

And, and i just wanted to fix a mess

I read each and every message you sent to him.

And now ive created a bigger one

Yes i know.

And i know it was awfull

And i know you hate me. But im sorry

I used to talk to him like that

You're sorry ??

Before

hahaha

Lakshya.. i dont want to ruin this day for you

you've ruined everything.

And i'm sorry for it.

I know you cant forgive me

But please, not on your birthday

Look Clare , I'm don't fights. I don't even wanna discuss it. It'll hurt me more and more.

I* DONT

want*

Tell me what to do...

Ill do anything .. please

Just dont be mad

You're smart enough!! we're done.

Lakshya... im begging you.

I cant be with you.

Lakshya please dont say that...

I love you

I have a proof. I'm not assuming. I have seen real messages sent by you.

And i love only you

Yes i know.

I loved you too Clare. But It was the biggest mistake of my life.

And even if you think that im an actual slut, im still saying i love you

If you read it... you mightve seen what i told him about me. That i love someone else

Lakshya im serious about you

I admit i was in mood last night

And he was there

haaha yeah you love someone with hereditary disease.

And i know the sin ive made is unforgivable

I never said it was you

And even if you have that id still love you

Think of it Clare , If you were me right now. what you'd do ?

Lakshya,

Id listen...

I'm listening.

I know its natural to be mad for the initial reaction

But please Lakshya im begging you.

Id unfriend him

Id make a new account and give you my password

Ill do everything to save this relationship

I admit I'm an Indian , I'm not from any developed country. But I'm not an idiot.

Lakshya... i didnt know where it freaking started but my days are revolving around you.

I never ever once thought of you as an idiot,... you were someone i respected

It was all waste. you actually betrayed me.

I did.

But please

Let this be the last.

Give me a chance.

If he was being mean to you , you could unfriend him. No one insisted you to do that with him.

Not even Marco.

I wasn't pervy at all.

Ive unfriended him 3 times already

I loved you.

And thats why i respect you

No Clare.

I'm better off without this love thing.

Its fake.